The great reformer, Martin Luther once said, “Let a wife make her husband happy to come home and let him make his wife sad to see him leave”. Marriages are made in heaven they say, and that is how it should be. But sometimes, there is trouble in paradise. A marriage coach can help couples resolve marital issues that they might not be able to resolve on their own. An important part of effective coaching is to encourage couples to consider and ponder over each other’s perspectives, and come to a mutual understanding on issues affecting their relationship.
If you feel that a certain area in your marriage is stuck, as a marriage coach I can help you. If you seeing trouble in your marriage, ask this question of yourself, ‘What would happen in five years, if things do not improve?’ If you are not comfortable answering this question, maybe it is time to seek support from a marriage coach.
What does marriage coaching involve?
Couples who are facing issues in their marriage may not be in a position to look at them objectively. Most individuals who are battling issues in their marriage will blame their partners for them, rather than take a look at the root cause. Research has shown that couples spending at least 12 hours in premarital education are less likely to get a divorce in the next five years.
When a couple decides to get married, there is also an economic partnership involved. They will buy houses, cars and other household articles together. They will also have children and make other plans. Marriage comes with its share of disappointments no doubt. Just like the shareholders in a company, who have an interest in their partnership, couples also have an interest in staying together No person would want to walk away from a marriage without a good cause. A divorce is least desirable.
Marriage counselling can be used by premarital couples, couples who want to bring improvements in their marriage, couples who are facing problems and even those who are on the brink of divorce.
Is it possible for a coach to save a marriage?
A marriage coach can help untangle knots in a marriage, but coaches do not purport that they can ‘save’ marriages. Through coaching, relationship issues can be clarified. For instance, coaches can separate what you can control from what you cannot. It brings awareness, where before only fear, resentment and avoidance existed.
There is no doubt that your marriages can gain from coaching if you let it, but every marriage comes with its own difficulties. In such a scenario, it is difficult to say whether coaching can help a marriage become stronger.
How are coaching and counselling different?
The term ‘coaching’ in marriage coaching is a metaphor taken from the world of sports, where every competitive team will have a coach. No team can even try for excellence without the services of a coach. A marriage coach performs a similar function. During coaching, there is no need to admit that you need help or even that you have a problem, so feelings of shame that are often triggered during counselling do not exist.
Most marriage coaches have been in long term happy marriages and they can impart the experiences and the skills that have made their own marriages successful to their coaches. Thus marriage coaches can help couples develop strong, healthy and vibrant relationships.
Counsellors are more solution focused and they may inadvertently pressurize individuals into accepting solutions that they may not be comfortable with. When we think about the word ‘therapy’, you may visualize someone who needs help or cure. Individuals work with coaches by their own accord, not because they have to. Marriage coaches, when contrasted with counsellors, are not called experts. Rather, they are people who have a certain skill set, which they use to support those who have goals to fulfill.
How can I help you?
Marriage coaching can help couples cope with challenges, stop divorces, get over past hurt or broken trust, improve communication and understanding, reconnect and learn forgiveness. My marriage coaching sessions are tailored to suit your specific needs and family culture. Hundreds of couples have benefited, you can too.